living with lupus, day by day, moment by moment

As hard as it was, there are a few things I miss about being pregnant, one was which was being visibly disabled.  While my symptoms of being pregnant – nausea, heaviness, fatigue – are not as severe as my usual lupus symptoms, I was given much more consideration when I was in a public space.  Strangers gave up their seats, held out doors, offered to carry my bags and let me cut the lines.  Also, no one looked at me funny when I used a wheelchair.  There was also an approving view of my “disability” since being pregnant meant that I was supporting a new life, and my disability is temporary. 

Shortly after my c-section, I found myself stuck on a bus that was surprisingly full.  No one offered up their seats and I couldn’t bring myself to ask someone, and then having to explain exactly why a healthy looking woman needs a seat. I couldn’t stand for long so I just got off and ended up taking a taxi. 

I do not wish to look as sick as I feel, but I wish I can carry a card I can show when needed that says “I have lupus, an invisible debilitating illness, and require special accommodations.”

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