It happened shortly after my son Harry turned six. After a (not unusual) episode of witnessing my irritability, he whispered “I’m sorry you are so tired mom. I know it’s Lupus.”
It absolutely broke my heart to hear him say that.
While I am glad that he is able to sympathize, I hate the fact that he is exposed to this side of me — sick, irritable, forgetful, anxious, pained, fatigued, sad and zoned out. I hate it because while I am able to put on acts of normalcy for the rest of the world, they are in short spurts and I cannot do it long term for my son. I hate it because the kind of empathy my son gained at such a young age (only six!) comes at a hefty price of growing up with a mom with many limitations.
Most of all, I hate that my son is growing up thinking that living with someone like me is normal. I try hard everyday to limit how much my illnesses poison our days but it’s so hard. And the guilt, it’s always there.
Lupieliving 
I’m so glad you wrote this. Tough words, but my six-year-old girl has said the same. Heartbreaking 💙 But hopefully their experiences with growing up with a chronically sick mom, will help them develop even more compassion and love for their surroundings. Big hug, we both need one 💙
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Hugs back to you mama. It’s not easy for them but hopefully they know that they get the best of us.
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