living with lupus, day by day, moment by moment

It sounds crazy.  A second pregnancy? After all the health crisis that I went through?  With all the health problems I am still dealing with? Yes, it is crazy, or as one friend commented “I hope you are not pulling a Steel Magnolias!” 

It’s a real gamble but ever since I became pregnant with my son six years ago, the question of whether I was going to have another child was always there.  It was there throughout the pregnancy.  It was there when I gave birth at 33 weeks.  It was there when I was undergoing chemotherapy for my lupus flare that was attacking all my vital organs.  It was there when my son turned one and I couldn’t walk from the effects of my illnesses.  It was there when my son turned two and I was still suffering from myocarditis, with difficulty breathing from the fluids in my heart.  It was there when my son turned three and I was on toxic immunosuppressants to keep my flares from attacking my organs. It was there when my son turned four and I was recovering from a total thryoidectomy to remove my thyroid cancer. 

All the while, the answer was always a resounding “no”.  I have had many doctors warn me against having another child. And over and over again, I tried to convince myself that having another baby would be a risk that my family and I could not afford to take.

But of all the many losses I suffered from accepting my illnesses, giving up the chance to have another child was a theory I had to test.  I felt I had to go all in and see if it could be done.  I had a small window where I was able to lower all my toxic drugs and even though I suffered greatly, it wasn’t affecting my vital organs.  That doesn’t sound like much, but it was my best chance.

My son is now five and I am 18 weeks pregnant.  I feel nervous and anxious about this pregnancy every day. I worry about the the high risk nature of my pregnancy. I bemoan the fact that my body seems to be an unhealthy host.  I suffer from the added symptoms of pregnancy which exacerbates my existing symptoms.  I lose sleep over how I wil be able to take care of a baby when I can’t even take care of myself right now.

All through it all, however, I never forget how grateful I am that my body is giving me another chance at bringing a life into this world.  I feel truly blessed.  And the only thing I hope for is a healthy outcome for my baby and a good recovery for me.  Please send good thoughts our way….!

4 thoughts on “A second lupus pregnancy ?!?!

  1. Kris says:

    I’m sooo thankful I came across this blog at this exact moment! I’ve been diagnosed with lupus for little over year and just found out I am pregnant. The stress, morning sickness and flares have just put me in a bad place. I was suppose start my MTX treatment due to my lupus but that will need to be put on hold.

    To see your positive outlook gives me lots of hope. Thanks for sharing.


    1. Congratulations!!!! I became pregnant with my first child less than a year after my diagnosis. My advice to you is to really monitor your body and communicate with your rheumatologist and gynecologist. The biggest issue was not being able to differentiate between lupus and pregnancy/post birth symptoms. Good luck and feel free to reach out to me with any concerns!


  2. Carolina Franco says:

    I am so happy to read this. I am not a mother yet, but I was diagnosed with SLE at the age of 15. I am now married and 26 years old, and want nothing more than to be a mother. A few months before I got married I was diagnosed with Lupus nephritis after being in remission for several years. This put my pregnancy dreams on hold. My doctors and I have been working together. And after a two year long wean, I will be off all of my medications next month. I am very excited to try and conceive but nonetheless worried. Reading your post has definitley put me more at ease. I am aware of the risks, and know that it my be difficult. But at least now I feel it is more possible.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Carolina, I am so happy for you and wish you all the luck in the world! It seems like you are already handling it the right way, waiting for your body to heal (in remission) and working closely with your doctor! Please reach out to me anytime if I can ever be of assistance. Much luck!


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