living with lupus, day by day, moment by moment

“How are you?”

This is probably my most dreaded question. 

After five years of living with lupus, I really don’t have a good answer.  Not one that is expected of me anyways.  I really just want to say the truth and answer “absolutely shitty” and be done with it.   After all, how does one think a person who is sick 24/7 is doing?  Not better.  Not fine.  Not good.  Never. Good. 

Over the years, I have tried to find a way to answer this innocuous question with some grace.  But with the holidays, it has become a real source of stress.  While I have become quite comfortable with my regular rotation of acquaintances (i.e., medical staff), the holidays bring on more personal social interaction which solicits inquiries about my well being. I really hate it.  I have been able to come up with some story about how sick I was, how I’m doing better, onwards with life….! But it’s all gibberish.  I am sick.  I feel like absolute crap all the time! Can I just say that? 

I wish that people would ask me more concrete questions that I can answer with more sincerity. Such as —

– “How was your day? Week? “

– “How is Harry? How is being a mom?” 

– “What are some of your recent doctor visits?”

– “How do you like staying at home?”

– “Have you found some hobbies you can do?”

– “What have you been writing about on your blog lately?”

These types of  defined questions, I can answer.  Just don’t ask me an open ended question of how I am.  I mean, can anyone really answer that?

(I wrote about my thoughts on greetings here:

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: