living with lupus, day by day, moment by moment

This past weekend, I went to a local fair with my family.  While it was great fun, it was hard for me to keep up.  I was in my usual state of sickness, fatigue and pain.  I was starting to feel a bit down but then I remembered the last time I was at the same fair.  I was barely able to walk and I had to use my son’s stroller for assistance.  Never mind that I barely lasted a few minutes before I had to sit and rest.  Since I am sick all the time, it’s hard to realize that there has been any improvement at all.  You almost need a repeated event to know how your body is changing.  Like realizing your favorite jeans are too snug even though you didn’t know you were gaining weight. 

Taking a minute to appreciate that my body is allowing me to do more than before made my day at the fair much better.  Even though walking was painful, and I still had to rest a lot, it was still better than before and that was something to be grateful for.  

I try hard to listen to my body and be mindful of what it’s saying to me.  When I was first diagnosed with lupus, I ignored the whispers of my body.  This might have been okay when I wasn’t sick, but with a chronic illness, not listening could resukt in life threatening consequences.  I have to admit, I listen out of fear more than anything else.  It was nice, however, that this time, my body was whispering sweet hopeful tunes. 

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